This week marks Liam's 5th birthday! I'm having trouble adjusting to not having a "baby" around, anymore. He's growing and changing so much. Thanks to Grandma, he now has his own car to drive. Yikes! This things is so big, it needs its own garage. Thanks Mom, I think.
Today my Daddy found freedom from his tortured body. Despite our sadness, we are thankful that he is finally at peace. Now I keep wondering what a daddy's girl is supposed to do when her daddy is gone. My Papi was the original eccentric I loved. Growing up in Mexico he was known in his town as "El Loco" (The crazy one) because he had the most unusual ideas and point of view. When I was a kid, I didn't always understand what motivated him, but as I grow older I find I am more and more like him. In fact, he is one of my main creative inspirations. He was a true individual. He was honest and tough, and had a wickedly sharp wit. Everyday, I aspire to be like him. I have to admit that it will be difficult to keep up a creative and positive outlook now that he is gone, but I also know that would be contradictory who he was. I know he would want me to keep being positive and keep finding humor in this bizarre world we live in.
I have always been my Daddy's little girl. I have never stopped calling him Papi, because I know how much it means to him. His name is Natividad, because he was born on Christmas day and he has suffered from Parkinson's disease for almost 30 years. That is an incredible amount of time for anyone with that condition, but I think its due to his incredible determination and faith. The last few weeks have been very difficult for him and I think he's ready to quit fighting. I am on my way to see him now and I'm not real sure when I will be back. I can barely write this so it will be short. I just ask that he may be in your prayers.
Liam and I have both been sick this weekend. Its been up to poor Mark to take care of us both. I'm not sure which one of us this photo better represents? Anyway, not much to say today.
I'm not the only one who struggles with depression throughout the holidays, right? Why is that? I really try to enjoy Christmas time, but mostly it seems to bring me down. I hate that, but its the truth. Sorry to be such a downer today. Its just that its difficult for me not to be honest. My faith pushes me to be more positive and to invite good things into my life, but its a struggle at this time of year. I always feel like I haven't done enough for everyone and another year has slipped by. I don't have enough time to send out Christmas cards and take Liam to see Santa. I usually am scrambling at the last minute to finish buying gifts that I really can't afford, but feel guilty if I don't. Ahhhh! I want Christmas to be about my faith in Christ. I get frustrated that people refuse to acknowledge Christianity as the source of "Christmas" and yet my life doesn't seem to acknowledge that either! I mean what right do I have to complain?! I don't believe in expecting other people to do things I don't do. I have to say that I'm pretty fed up with these feelings I struggle with. (I'm only writing this, because it helps me when I get it all out). My life has to change. I already have been changing many things and will share them after the New Year. 
You may be wondering what in the world these photos have to do with what I'm writing. Well, I posted them for purely selfish reasons. Basically, they make me happy! I needed a jolt of sunshine and fun and these photos have that, don't you think? I found them via Living Etc.
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